Vinita Dubey: Chapter 1: Stuti for Giridhari

When I came back to the US I started listening to the magnum opus of devotion, “Srimad Bhagavatam” or “Bhagavad Puran.” Bhagavad means, for Him and by Him, the Lord divine. This great text was written by the sage Ved Vyas. There are twelve volumes, cantos, to this text. The tenth canto is dedicated to Krishna. After listening to the introduction and bit of the first canto I couldn’t wait so I jumped to the tenth canto. As I heard the birth of Shri Krishna, the place where he was born, the house of Nanda Baba, it brought in the feeling and the fragrance of those places I had been. Now when I look at baby Krishna, the devotion has a different flavor, because I have tasted the devotion of Mathura-Vrindavan, it brings back those same feelings.

God is personal, intimate as well as formless and transcendental. Multiplicity and oneness co-exist. The transcendental ultimate reality is like the canvas and a painting on it is the apparent reality. Like sound is a superimposition on silence, so is creation on consciousness. Consciousness is both immediate and transcendental.

Both happily co-exist; Krishna, my beloved Lord, and the one eternal universal consciousness (that I am). That one universal consciousness created this universe and also created several divine forms that the Hindus call by different names. These divine forms, Devis, Devatas, Avatars, were created to express different virtues and elements that govern this creation. One of them is Krishna, He is an avatar of Narayana and the purpose of an avatar to is to re-establish truth and goodness in every age. That universal consciousness created Avatars for a reason and purpose, and avatars are the most transparent form of that consciousness on earth. Krishna Himself is consciousness, and my soul. He is both the means to the end and the end itself. True knowers of Krishna are those who have dropped the “I”.

For me no one else exists except for Govind, this world is immaterial. Krishna is the only one who is always there for me, who will never change and love me unconditionally, accepts me just as I am. He is my only support when I am down; He is my beloved when I’m in ecstasy. He is a friend I play with and cherish; He is like a father in whose lap I can lay.

Not only is Krishna my beloved but he is also my Guru. He delivers the highest knowledge for Moksha in the Bhagavat Gita. Krishna is consciousness and also the entire creation. First Krishna talks about His universal Self in the Gita (chapters ten and eleven) before He talks about devotion in the twelfth chapter. Krishna the epitome of devotion talks about devotion! He is the most complete avatar. From being the cutest son, a playful and powerful cowherd boy, to the perfect lover, a noble king, a skilled politician, a great friend, the highest Guru, and so on, every role he played with skill and perfection. He exemplified Gita itself in terms of devotion, knowledge, discipline, and skill in action. I think He is so smart, charming, skillful, extremely attractive and intelligent. He is my beloved, my Guru and my God. I know He’s both personal and eternal. Knowledge supports devotion, devotion enchants knowledge.

I am drunk with the cocktail of knowledge and devotion; there is no higher ecstasy than the intoxication of this nectar.

Truly devotion is the most beautiful and the most pure experience in human existence.

Interestingly all the devotional saints of India in the fifteenth and sixteenth century experienced intense longing. That was the age of longing; this is the age of celebration. In the sense that when you have knowledge you know He is always with you, He is your soul, and He and you are one. Then there is celebration.

He is my soul, a projection of my soul is His darshan and then He disappears back into the eternity of my soul.

Meera Bai's bhajans were her conversations with Krishna, in devotion words flow as poetry. It's very difficult to express devotion on paper, with words. Devotion is sung and has to be felt in person!

Meera Bai’s bhajan:

“Pyare Darshan Dijo Aaj

Tum Bina Rahyo na Jaye

Jala Bina Kamala

Chandra Bin Rajani

Aise Tum Dekhya Bin Sajani

Aakul Vyakul Firoon Raina Dina

Viraha Khaleja Khaye

Din Nahi Bhookh

Neend Nahi Naina

Mukh se Kahata na Aave Baina

Kaha Karu Kachu Kahatana Aave

Milakar Tapan Bhujaay

Kyon tarasaao antarayaami

Aana milo krripa karo swaami

Meera daasi janam-janam ki

Padi tumhaari paaon

Pyaare darashan di jo aaj, Tum bin raho na jaae, Pyare Darshan Diyo Aaj.”

These are my conversations with Krishna:

For so long I have been calling Your name. Oh! This intense yearning! So long I have been waiting. Oh! This intense longing! My mind and soul immersed.

Hey Giridhari! Come to me. Govind! Govind!! Govind!!! …

Ah Giridhari! Finally You have come! O Ghanshyam! You heard the call of my soul and longing of my heart. So subtly You appear in this moonlit night here in this forest. I am elated and transformed.

Oh Govind! Your countenance, Your soft charming radiant face is irresistible! Your faint naughty smile, and the twinkle in your eyes, is so captivating that my eyes can’t move.

There could be no greater attraction in this world than Your presence, Your serene divine mesmerizing presence. In this night Your twilight face shines like a thousand moons. This moment seems still and eternal, while the whole world moves.

The gentle breeze through the trees, the scent of the night jasmine float through and yet we remain untouched, unmoved as if in eternal union.

May I forever rest in Your arms, surrender and feel that deep relief in my soul, then fall asleep while You play Your soothing flute. Oh! That is what my heart is longing for. But I can’t move, I remain frozen looking at You, thoughtless, bodiless, and only soul.

A gush of wind flutters the peacock feather on Your crown, a lock of Your dark wavy hair brush Your face. I look at You like a little girl whose jaw drops and head tilts. Then You smile at me with fondness and sweet love.

So overwhelmed am I with Your charm, magnanimity, and Your breath taking divine presence that I feel I will swoon. I hear the divine musicians start to play, Veena, Tabla, Manjeera, and Sarod. Giridhari joins in with His flute. Oh! The sound...So soft and sweet! My mind merges and I am gone. All the Gods have come too, as no one even in heaven would want to miss this divine darshan.

You are looking so radiant, Giridhari, your glowing twilight blue color and striking white mesmerizing eyes. The chandan and kesar tilak on Your forehead, the pearl ear rings and flower necklaces. There is a scent of sandalwood in the air. I witness Your presence, Your shining orange silk upper cloth, dazzling yellow dhoti, and armlets of precious stones, Your tender graceful hands holding Your flute. I want to bow down and touch Your soft and gentle feet, a most heart melting sight! Even the Gods are awed by Your brilliance.

As I witness the Lord, a Stuti[1] is being revealed. A beautiful melody and poetry starts flowing from within.

“Sri Krishna Govind Hare Murare,

I bow down and surrender myself at Your feet.

In all the worlds besides You there is nothing so sweet…Hey Nath Narayana Vasudeva